I recently enjoyed a play-through of the 2018 video game God of War, which saw its debut to the PC platform this month after years of remaining a Playstation exclusive. I enjoyed the experience for what it was: a power fantasy about killing the gods of an ancient pantheon and discovering the joys of fatherhood at the same time. The storytelling and world-building of this soft reboot in the God of War franchise were stand-out features, and I heartily recommend this title to any who would be interested, including newcomers.
While I was virtually trekking through the harsh Nordic landscape with my virtual son, Atreus, I could not help but imagine what an American pantheon of gods would look like. Who would be the chief deities, and what would they represent in the eyes of their believers? What would a radical fanatic of the American faith look like, and most importantly: how could we defend our pantheon of gods from a hulking marauder like God of War’s main character, Kratos? Initially, one may be inclined to say that there could never be an American pantheon, or an American religion at all, because the United States is primarily a Christian nation. I understand where this perspective originates, but it is not exactly as true as some may hope. A figure of religious significance like Jesus Christ is certainly important to many Americans, but he is not actually the most important when it comes to being an American… and from an institutional perspective, “attacking” Jesus Christ is more or less okay. Symbols, demonstrations, and actions that any church would consider blasphemy are allowed (and in some cases even encouraged), so it is clear that Jesus Christ is not an essential part of the American pantheon. This does not mean he is entirely unimportant to the hypothetical American religion, of course. A conservative might then point out that actions that offend Christians are normalized, but actions that offend Muslims are quite controversial these days. Would my argument here indicate that the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is part of the American pantheon? The answer is no. The feelings of Muslims are certainly respected more than the feelings of Christians, but this is actually a consequence of the true American faith… not Islam itself.
Could someone like George Washington be considered an American god? How about Thomas Jefferson, or Theodore Roosevelt? Surely, these were all great men who had accomplished much for the good of our country and are highly respected historical figures. Except, they actually are not. While some Americans are indeed big fans of men like them, these men are not without criticism. Indeed, they are guilty of a great sin. Because of this, their statues are removed and replaced, along with those of other defeated gods. This could never happen to a truly divinely respected figure, whose statues one could not even think of vandalizing, let alone removing. It’s worth mentioning that the origin of the term “vandal” comes from the Germanic Christians who would deface Roman statues depicting the “old” gods and historic figures. Men like Washington, Jefferson, and Roosevelt are not exactly American gods.
A real American god, or at least a human deified to a god-like status in the eyes of Americans, would have to be almost universally respected. Both political parties would lay claim to his legacy, and his quotes would be plastered everywhere across American public schools so that children would internalize them. All children would learn the details of his life, his beliefs, his struggles against evils especially relevant to society, and his martyrdom. As the chief deity of the American religion, his example and his philosophy would take precedence over all other figures, regardless of who “came first” in American history.
His will is unquestionable. His vision for the country is revered by all. And any that would dare think to blaspheme against him are destroyed. We recently celebrated a day of rest in his honor.
The American god is undeniably the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
It seems weird to say it out loud. Wasn’t he a Christian? He would certainly have rejected this characterization of himself, I admit. It may be better to view his divine status as akin to Jupiter or Julius Caesar, or perhaps as an incredibly important prophet. But such semantic disputes are irrelevant, and my task here is much more important than a mere mythopoetic analysis of American civic figures.
We need to protect our greatest American god from dying. Gods die all the time, actually, and for a variety of reasons. After playing God of War, I believe I am in a good position to offer some tips in protecting our American god from any would-be godslayers.
In reality, gods die not when they are literally killed, but when their believers abandon them for different idols. It seems impossible to imagine a world where Americans do not believe in MLK’s truth, but the collapse of the faith may be closer than we like to think. And unlike what some milquetoast conservatives may suggest, the true threat of apostasy will actually originate from the right, not the left. We will have to watch our fellow right-wingers very closely in order to assure they do not kill our god, as well-intentioned or truth-seeking they may be.
Firstly, MLK must be defended as a genuine philosophical figure. This will prove a challenge, since he did not write the majority of his own speeches, and indeed plagiarized his own doctoral thesis. A potential godslayer could point out that his credentials were illegitimate and his words were not his own. You can already imagine how damaging it would be if the general public were aware that his most famous “I Have A Dream” speech wasn’t even about his own dream, but instead was authored by a man named Stanley Levison. Who even is that? Do not look him up or tell others about him. This sort of knowledge would destroy MLK’s credibility as a thinker in the eyes of right-wingers, and so should remain hidden. Left-wingers will not mind.
Secondly, we can agree that the American Right does not like socialists, Marxists, or left-wing ideologues of any kind. It is imperative that right-wingers do not find out that MLK was basically all of those, and was not even subtle about it. He was once quoted as saying “Call it democracy or call it democratic socialism, but there must be a better distribution of wealth within this country for all of God’s children.” Thank goodness he included that bit about “God’s children”, otherwise he would sound a lot like Bernie Sanders or AOC… who are very proud to continue this sort of messaging and are very unpopular with right-wingers. We also must be careful, again, to not bring up Stanley Levison, since he was an open communist and was also MLK’s closest advisor. The FBI, which was admittedly more right-wing back in the day, opened their investigation into MLK’s activities because of this connection. The full files containing their findings, including documents about his alleged abuse of several women, are scheduled to be released in 2027, and hopefully for us all they will go missing before that happens.
Thirdly, MLK’s vision for America must be defended as true, possible, and worth pursuing. This third task may prove a bit easier than the other two since the American right is incredibly ignorant on what MLK’s mission even was. Most assume that the public school education they received involving little white children and little black children holding hands at a picnic table is all there is to it… and to any reasonable person there is literally nothing to argue against there. It was an excellent usage of a rhetorical strategy called “the motte and bailey”, named after a type of medieval castle. The trick is to have a slogan or idea that is hard to criticize, which you can use to disguise your real intentions. Children holding hands and being friends together is incredibly hard to criticize as a concept, and in fact you would have to be insane in order to oppose it. It’s a great defense for the real goal of wealth redistribution, racial quotas in favor of designated minorities, and a complete deconstruction of American society. Those last bits would be incredibly unpopular and easy to criticize, but as long as you hide behind the supposed happiness of imagined children you can do whatever you want. Most conservatives would scoff at this notion, saying something like “MLK believed in REAL equality, not the fake equality of the modern left. We conserve his vision, which is totally divorced from these new progressives who support affirmative action, racism against white people, or any of that woke nonsense.” Thankfully for us, these conservatives have no clue what they are talking about. MLK openly endorsed affirmative action and demanded that “white moderates” stop being “moderates” and start being advocates for black people (all explained in MLK’s book Why We Can’t Wait, published in 1964). This is exactly the same platform that modern Black Lives Matter proponents push for, and indeed who are you to argue against a concept like “Black Lives Matter”? What is wrong with you? It is clear to an impartial observer that the modern left is just a 1:1 continuation of MLK’s philosophy because they openly promote all of the same goals… they just don’t need to care about the vaguely Christian framework anymore. We cannot let conservatives catch on to this. We also cannot ever let them criticize a concept like “equality”, because that would spell disaster. They need to envision the happy children, and not what is actually going on. As deceptive as that sounds on my part, I assure you it is for the greater good.
If the right were ever to abandon their unquestioning faith in MLK, then the entire structure we can refer to as the “civic religion” in our country would collapse. Both Democrats and Republicans need to claim that they are each the true inheritors of King’s doctrines, and that the other side is merely not living up to them… regardless if that is actually true. If one side were to confidently proclaim that MLK’s vision was wrong, or impossible, or that he was not actually a god-like figure, it would usher in the end of the current American era. Either in a flash, or slowly over time, Americans would change how they approach issues involving their identity and their guiding principles as an organized whole. As a conservative, I am incredibly afraid of change. I cannot in good faith allow this to happen. And while this new era could be more honest, open, and realistic about our uniquely American history, values, and societal existence… it still would not be worth it. I have faith in MLK, and you should too.
Very good article from my favorite tall, dark, and handsome writer, Carlos C! We is indeed poopin!